Helena
by Kayla-Ninja
Summary: Helena is discovered and makes a contract with a demon named Gerard. After returning to her home she remembers the painful memories of all the deaths of her loved ones.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

Chapter1: Helena

The Undertaker walked back to his shop.

"I don't have anymore souls to reap. I should get home and work on my specimens." He looked up at the sky and saw it was darkening quickly. "It appears that it is going to rain." He laughed and kept walking not paying attention. He suddenly found himself on the ground. He picked himself up as the rain started to fall. He looked back trying to figure out why he had tripped. He saw that there was a body in the alley way. He saw that it had a crimson color seeping out of its chest. He pulled out a booklet and flipped through the pages.

"This soul isn't in the book to be reaped." He walked closer to it and kicked it. It rolled over and he saw it was a girl. She opened her eyes and looked up at him with fear in them. Her face was blood stained.

"Please kill me." She pleaded. She tried to sit up but kept slipping as the rain fell harder.

'I just can't kill her.' He stared at her.

"What is your name?" He asked with a slight smirk on his lips.

"I am Helena." She was slowly fading.

"Good." The Undertaker knelt down and picked her up. He quickly got into his shop that was dark. He walked past the caskets that had bodies in them. He made it into the back room where there was a table. He laid her on it and he watched her. He saw her chest move up slowly. "Good she is alive. She isn't going to die." He was thinking of ways to keep her alive. He heard the door of his shop open and close with a slam. He closed the curtain hiding the body of the somewhat alive girl and walked towards the front of the shop. He saw a soaked red haired Grell.

"Hello." He practically sang. "What are you up to?" He sat on the counter.

"Nothing." The Undertaker leaned up against the bookshelf.

"I smell a human that is alive. Why are you covered in blood?" Grell pointed at him then jumped down and walked towards the back room.

"Get out." The Undertaker shouted. Grell kept walking and they eventually got to the back room. Grell flung open the curtains only to see a girl sitting up and covered in blood. She looked up at Grell then at The Undertaker.

"I told you to kill me." She spat. Grell stared wide eyed.

"Whats your name you vile creature?" Grell stepped towards her.

"I'm Helena."

"That's who I missed." Grell pulled out his safety scissors and he grabbed her. She showed no emotion as he pulled her up. The blood trailed down her arms. "I will kill you now." He pulled the safety scissors across her neck. The cinematic records spewed from her. The Undertaker stood there and watched with Grell. They were expecting to see memories of a young girl that had a good life but all they saw was black. "What?!" Grell turned to The Undertaker with confusion.

"That's not what I expected." The Undertaker smirked. Grell turned back to the girl who was standing up. The cinematic records flowed back into her bruised body.

"But why?" Grell whined. "She won't die." He pointed at the girl that stood there.

William T. Spears was called to the shop after a while. He stood there adjusted his glasses occasionally and stared at the girl.

"So her cinematic records where black?" He looked at Grell with a bank expression.

"Yes William." Grell sat next to her.

"She escaped something that stole her memories. She has no other choice but to become a reaper or a demon." He walked closer to her and he looked into her eyes. "What will it be?"

"I think she would make a good reaper. Finally I can do someones nails and we can talk about boys." Grell giggled.

"I was talking to her you idiot." William hissed. "What would you like to be?" He asked her again.

"I would like to become a reaper." She looked down at her bloodstained legs.

"Good you can get your glasses but first-" William took his weapon and stabbed it through her chest. She didn't move or scream. She just sat there. Her eyes changed from a deep blue to green and yellow. He retracted it and adjusted his glasses again. "You can stay with The Undertaker and he will bring you to get your glasses and he will train you. Come on Grell you still have eight souls to reap." They quickly left and it was just The Undertaker and Helena.

"I guess I will train you." The Undertaker giggled like a mad man.

"It appears so." Helena got up and walked over to him. "Do you have anything I can change into?" She looked up at him.

"Sure." The Undertaker walked over to a dresser and opened it. "Here." He handed her a silky gown and he pointed at a door. "You can wash up in there." He laughed some more. Helena walked into the room and she quickly got cleaned up and she slipped on the gown. She walked out and noticed everything.

"Is your name The Undertaker or can I call you something else?" She shouted her question when she noticed he wasn't in the room. She walked next to a casket and stared at the body. She didn't get an answer and she walked closer to a closed coffin. She opened it and she was met by his face that his bangs somewhat covered.

"Did I scare you?" He giggled.

"No." She answered with no emotion. "What can I call you?" She asked again getting a little annoyed.

"The Undertaker." He answered smiling wide.

"Good." She answered and walked off and sat on the counter.

"What can I call you?" He asked, giggling slightly as he stepped out of the coffin.

"Helena or what ever." She kicked her feet. "Thanks for letting me stay here." She shot a smile at him.

"Oh so you do know emotion my child." He smiled back and he picked up a book that had a heavy coat of dust.

"I'm not a child. I'm 14." She shot back her smile slowly turning into a frown.

"What were you running from?' He asked after he blew the dust off.

"I was running from the man that killed my mother." She pulled her knees up to her and hugged them.

"Well you are safe now." He didn't laugh he just closed the book.

"I didn't run far enough." She spoke into her knees. "He shot me in the chest and I was sure it would kill me and I was fine with it but it didn't. I wanted to leave all of this behind." She sounded like she was crying. She pulled her head up and let her legs free. Her grayish black hair framed her face. The Undertaker just noticed how she looked and he stared. She was bruised and her body was still stained red. She had a good figure and her cheeks were pink. Her hair was to the middle of her shoulder blades. "Where can I sleep." She sniffled.

"Ummm." The Undertaker laughed. He stopped seeing she was serious. He found a pillow and some blankets after searching for a while. She saw a coffin that was large and she opened it.

"This will be fine." She stated. He placed the pillow and blankets in it. She was about to climb into it but she felt his hands grab her a lift her into it. He set her down gently and he pulled the blankets up around her. "Thanks." She smiled and so did he.

"I need to put the lid on so if there are any customers they won't get any suspicions." He looked down at her seeing she had already fallen asleep. "Goodnight Helena." He placed the lid on the coffin quietly so he wouldn't wake her.


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own is Helena's POV.  
**

Chapter 2:She

I opened my eyes to the noise of laughing. I almost panicked when I saw the lid was on the casket. I pushed up and it came up and it slid off hitting the floor. The laughter stopped and I sat up straight and I saw it was Grell, William, and The Undertaker. They all turned to me and faced. Grell had a smirk on his face and William was emotionless. The Undertaker giggled slightly.

"I can fix her. They will never know." Grell pointed to me and I went to get out but The Undertaker came over and helped me out. "They wont expect a thing."

"What about the eyes?" The Undertaker asked as I followed him back over to the counter they were conversing at.

"They have glasses that will cover that up." William adjusted his glasses as he spoke.

"What is going on?" I asked as I rubbed my eyes.

"We have to fix you." Grell giggled.

"Why?" I shot a look at William who was still emotionless.

"We have never had a female become a shinigami and we would like to keep it a secret from the rest of the males. We don't need them slacking." William looked at me.

"Okay." I answered knowing they would insist even if I refused.

"We also don't want you to have those colored eyes because you cant hide them as well as us." He added. "The Undertaker and I will be back in a while. Grell will fix it." William opened a portal and they disappeared into it and I was alone with Grell.

"Okay I will cut your hair and then we will go get your glasses before they come back."

I sat in a chair as Grell stood far away looking at his scissors and then he would glance at me.

"I know what to do. You will look like a pesky human." He smiled and came towards me.

"What will it look like?" I asked trying not to be nervous.

"It will look like someone I know..." It sounded like he whispered a name ,but i didn't hear all the way.

It took him a bit but when I went to the bathroom I looked like a boy. My bangs covered my left eye somewhat and my blueish gray hair shined.

"Thanks Grell." I looked at him and smiled. "What will I wear?" I asked.

"Ummmm." He ran around the shop and didn't find anything. "Put on your bloody clothes and if anyone asks you are a soul that a shinigami is getting help on."

"Okay." I shook my head. I ran into the room and put on my clothes.

"Where are your shoes?" He asked.

"I lost them." I smiled and wiggled my toes. Grell opened a portal and he dragged me in with him. The scenery changed and we were in a white hall. It was like a ghost town.

"Good they are all at lunch." He walked like a woman and I just followed behind. He would occasionally check for a follower but would return to his sassy walk. We got to a room where a man sat at a desk and had glasses on his desk. He held tiny tools in his hands and nit picked at the glasses. He looked up and stared at Grell. "The special ones." He pointed at me. He didn't hand him any glasses just a bottle. It was small and had a blue lid and was clear. The liquid was orange and had bubbles in it. Grell turned and grabbed me. "We need to get your clothes." He pulled me into him. "They will be back in five minutes." He rushed forwards and I was trying to keep up with his fast pace.

"Grell." I heard someone yell behind us.

"Yes." Grell turned back to see and I was hidden behind him. "What do you want I'm busy?" He was irritated.

"I want to walk with you." I saw a boy sprint towards us and skid to a halt in front of us. "I thought you had someone with you." He tried to look behind Grell but Grell turned with him to hide me.

"No I don't." He answered with a serious tone. The boy tried it again and spotted me. His eyes brightened and he grabbed my arm. "Ronald give her back." Grell sounded angry.

"Oh she." Ronald winked. Grell cupped his mouth with his hands after he processed what he said. Ronald pulled me up to face me and he looked at my face. He let me go. "She is a..." he looked confused. Grell pulled my arm and ran. We got to a door and he pushed me in and he flicked on the light. I looked around and it was a large white room that had many cabinets. He took the bottle and he popped it open.

"Drink it." He demanded. I did as I was told. I downed it quickly. "Good they changed." I felt tingly but that was it. He rushed around the room searching. "Try these." He handed me a white shirt that had a folded piece of cloth. I stared at it. "Its a bow." I took off my shirt and buttoned the new one and I tied the bow. "Here." He handed me blue shorts and I put those on too. "Good. Shoes." He rushed to another cabinet. He threw me some socks that had strange buckles with them. "They hold up the socks." He raised his voice a bit. Then he tossed me some boots that where black and blue that laced up the front. "Coat." He kept looking until giving out a loud "Aha." he came over and gave me a blue coat that was trimmed with black. I finally had everything on after alot of adjusting and buttoning. He reached his hand out and but my bangs over my left eye. "We need to get back so Will isn't searching for us." He opened another portal and we were back in the shop. Grell looked around and then I went over to the mirror. I looked like a rich British boy. I was shocked.

"Helena." I was in such shock that I didn't notice William was holding out daggers. "These are your weapons. You won't be doing much reaping but they come in handy." I grabbed them and I put them in my pocket. "Grell lets go its late." They left after Grell waved at me.

"I think you should get some rest. Tomorrow will be exciting. I have work. Goodbye." the Undertaker laughed and walked out of the shop and I was completely alone. I changed and I got back into my coffin. I quickly drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**Chapter 3:Home**

I was consumed in my dream and I felt regular again. I looked down and saw green grass under my feet and I was playing with my cousin. He yelled at me.

"Cecilia come play!" He motioned for my to play. I ran and my hair flowed behind me. As I ran it became black and I was emerged in a dark world. I could hear screams in the distance. As I ran closer I saw what was happening. It was the day I was kidnapped. I was playing with Chris and we had ran off to get flowers for flower crowns and he smelt something. We ran closer to the house and saw the crimson flames engulf the house. He ran to go get help but I ran inside. I saw a back light in the hall and I followed it. The closer I got the closer I got to hell. I ran and flung the library doors open. I saw the light and I felt someone grab my shoulder. I was dragged from my home by my hair. They took me outside and I watched their black robes swirl around me. My head spun with exhaustion and I could taste the smoke. One kicked me and they would talk to each other but in a different language. They eventually pulled out a gun and shot at me. I was so scared I got up and ran. I didn't know where to but I ran. I ran for my life. I remember the last thing I said was 'Gerard'. I tripped and landed by the road that would take you to the city. I thought I would bleed out but I woke up in a weird place. The lady that took care of me called me Helena and I could barely remember my incident. I eventually forgot about the whole thing. I was normal until the black light and men got my foster mom Carrie. I had to run again. I still don't know if I can face the black light or if I will run again.

I sat up and breathed heavily. My body felt heavy and I wanted to leave. I crawled out and I walked over to the counter. I saw a piece of paper and I wrote.

_Dear Undertaker,_

_I'm out getting some fresh air. I won't be gone long._

_Signed, Helena_I grabbed my clothes and changed but I left my slip on underneath. I opened the door and noticed it was still dark. I walked into the cold air and my body shivered. I walked the alley way and I was walking right by where The Undertaker found me. I felt cold and it wasn't a relaxing cold so I went back to the shop.

'That's enough cold air for me.'

I saw that a light was on and thought it was The Undertaker and I walked in. I didn't see anyone so I decided to strip off to only my slip. I walked into the back room to see if he was working and needed anything and I only heard a crashing. I lifted the curtain and stepped in. I saw a man with messy hair and light skin searching for something. He didn't notice me.

"Do you need something?" I asked. I saw his bright eyes look right into mine. He sent me a friendly smile.

"Yes." He stepped close to me.

"Like what sir?" I smiled and was suspicious.

"You are Cecilia correct?" He asked me.

"No I'm afraid she died along time ago." I frowned a little.

"You are not truthful." He smirked and paced around me.

"Then what do you want?" I was frustrated.

"I want Cecilia. I can help her with her desire." He stopped right in front of me and stared down at me. He smirked. "I can fight the black light." That struck me and I felt cold again.

"I don't know where she is." I wanted him to leave me.

"Why did you cut you hair? It was beautiful. You were to be a good young girl. I see you are twisted and corrupt." He kept smiling.

"I didn't like it." I answered.

"Ceciley... You called me so here I am." I fell to my knees as he said my nick name. Only my mom and dad called me that. Carrie didn't even call me that.  
"I never called you." I was crying.

"You had the dream." I could feel him look down at me. "You know my name."

"Gerard." I muttered. "I need you." I felt him pick me up. He walked with me in his arms and then he ran.

"We will make the contract at the house." He whispered as he ran.

"Okay."

We showed up at a magnificent mansion. He left me down and I felt the grass. I looked down.

"This is my home." I smiled. The wind blew and my gown flowed with it.

"Yes it is. Welcome home Countess Cecilia." He bowed in front of me with his hand over his heart.

**You may be confused but it is okay. If you have any questions ask away. Happy Reading. :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**Chapter 4: Soothing**

I was walked into the house. Bitter sweet memories crossed my mind. I was joyful but upset.

"This way My Lady." Gerard motioned for me to follow him. I walked with him. We walked up stairs and I remembered the library. We walked past it. We stopped in front of giant doors. He opened them and I walked in with him. He walked over to book shelf and pulled a book out. The bookshelf slid open and we disappeared into the darkness that was down the stairs. "You are a shinigami?"

"Well I'm not trained." I answered.

"You can be changed back." He answered.

We kept walking until it got lighter. He opened a door and I followed him in. He shut it behind him and he pulled out a chair.

"Sit please." He pushed it in as I sat. "You need to become human again." He placed a rose in front of me. He grabbed my wrist and cut it. Instead of red blood it was black. I felt the energy drain from me. I was normal again. The power was gone. He placed his gloves on the table. His nails were black and his fingers were long. I saw a red mark on the back of his left hand that glowed. It was the contract mark. "Cecilia. What is it you desire most?" He stood next to me.

"I want to find the black light and destroy it. I want to get revenge on it for killing the people dearest people to me." I stated.

"Do you accept the contract?" He asked.

"Yes." I stated.

He put his left had over my eye and it stung. I screamed out in pain. He let go and I held my face. He walked out of the room leaving me there. I opened my eye and I couldn't see but I was fine. I got up and went to follow him.

"I now have a contract with you. I abide by your orders until you are satisfied. After that your soul will be mine."

"Gerard. I'm tired and I am dirty." I had a maid once but never a butler. "Can you give me a bath then put me to bed?" I asked.

"Yes My Lady. There will be a maid, a gardener ,and a cook here to help. But anything you ask me to do I will do for you. I won't leave you." He turned around and picked me up. He took me into the bathroom and ran a bath. He set me in it and lathered shampoo into my hair. "I was attracted to you ever since your mother and father were killed." The mood changed.

"Don't talk to me about them." I closed my eyes. "Is my eye noticeable?" I asked.

"Yes it is." He rinsed my hair and he stood me up. He dried me off. "I will return with a night gown." He left and I stepped fowards to look in the mirror. I saw the mark. It was the mark of the contract. It glowed red. "My Lady I will help you." He came closer and slipped the gown over my head. "You will have visitors tomorrow." He led me back into the bedroom. "Now get some rest. You need it."I placed my self under the covers and he left.

I was alone. I turned over to see the full moon shine through the window. I watched the trees rustle in the wind. I saw a body in the trees. It was a man. I watched. It came close to the window and I sat up. I walked to the shadows to hide. I slid down the wall and sat. The large widow opened and the man came in. He turned to look back out and I caught a glimpse of his face. He had black hair and red eyes. He looked like a butler too. He walked over to book case and opened it. I watched him fade into the darkness. I got up and followed. He went farther down and so did I. I heard more footsteps come down the stairs. They were light like a young boys. I held my body close to the wall as it walked right past me. I followed them both. The room light up and they walked into the room where the contract was made. I slid behind the door and watched with desire. The man picked up the rose. He stared at it. I saw the boy. He looked exactly like me but had red eyes and the symbol was on his right eye.

"This is the girl?" The boy asked.

"Yes Ciel." The man answered and the name struck me. It was close to mine. "She is just like you. She seeks revenge on what happened in her past. She searches for what she hates and fears the most." He smirked.

"I want to keep an eye on her." I saw the move farther away from me and I slipped out of the room. I ran up the stairs and I had many things cross my mind. I flopped onto my bed. I watched the door. I finally saw the two bodies come out. The boy called Ciel came over next to me. He leaned down next to me and whispered "revenge is sweet." His voice was cold and serious. They left and I was alone. I closed my eyes and replayed his voice in my head. I found it soothing.


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**Chapter 5: Accomplished  
**

The light shone into the bedroom. I sat up and stretched. His voice was still running through my ears. I thought back to it and I remembered their eyes. I was interrupted by Gerard.

"Good morning My Lady." He went over to the window quickly. He went to open it but stopped. 'Why is this unlocked?" He asked opening it.

"I don't know." I stated. I stretched some while he walked over.

"For breakfast I prepared poach salmon and mint salad. There is toast, scones, and pain de campagne on the side which would you prefer?"

"Scones please." I said. He went to my closet. He grabbed a light blue dress that had frill. He grabbed some shoes that looked uncomfortable. I got up and started to unbutton my shirt. He grabbed my hand and made me sit down.

"I will help you." He had the dress on me faster than I could have ever gotten it on myself.

"Thanks."

"No need to thank me." He lifted up my feet to put on the shoes. I stared at him and then his eyes met mine. He was now at my level and was only a little space in between us. "I will fix your hair." He produced a brush and started to brush through my short hair. I saw him grab something out of his pocket. It was a white eye patch. He place it over my left eye and tied it in the back.

"Thanks." I stated.

"Now for breakfast." He helped me up.

"Can I eat later I want to be alone for a while?"

"Yes My Lady." He walked out and I could feel like I had done something wrong. I walked over to the window and I saw the grass. I was remembering everything and it was painful.

'I just want to die. I have had enough.'

I kicked off my shoes and paced around the room. I opened my doors and walked out into the long hallway. I walked until I got to the steps and I saw the doors to the library. I walked closer and I could still feel the warmth of the fire. I wish it would have consumed me and have taken the pain from me. I put my hand on the door and listened. I opened the door and I walked into the room. All of the books were neat. I took in the rooms coldness and shivered. I walked over to the desk where my dad used to write so many things. I learned so many things by just watching him and he used to let me sit in his lap and draw on scratch paper. I went over to it and sat in the chair. I laid my head on the top. I breathed in the fresh scent of the wood.

'Why?'

I sat up and looked at the books. I walked over to one of the bookcases and I touched the spines. The door opened and Gerard walked in. He carried shoes in his hands.

"My lady." He looked at my bare feet.

"Yes?" I faced him fully now.

"Your shoes belong on your feet."

"Please no."

"As you wish." And he disappeared just as fast as he appeared.

I wanted to explore so I waited a bit. I ran back to the door. I replayed a distinct memory. i was playing hide and seek with Chris. I remembering feeling my tightly curled hair bouncing and hitting my back. I ran after I had gotten to ten. I counted in the library. I walked down the halls. I followed my memory and I opened the bathroom door. I remembered looking in the tub to see if he was there. He wasn't.

'Why am I doing this he is dead. There is no use.'

I stopped and walked out. I hit Gerard's chest.

"Is everything okay?" He asked and he looked down at me.

"Yes."

"They are here." He started to walk away and I followed him.

"Who are they?" I asked as I tried to keep up with his fast pace. We walked down the steps and I saw three people standing there. I was confused. There was no female only males. The boys looked like triplets. They all stood looking around. I stood in front of them as they stared at me. They all had short fringed hair that was a plum color but they all had their bangs styled differently. Their red eyes all looked at me and I felt weird.

"This is Thompson. He is is the gardener." He pointed to the boy that had his bangs swept to the right. I stared at them and watched their every movement. "There is Timber who is the chef." He pointed to the one who's bangs where in the center at a point. "Then there is Canterbury who is the steward." He pointed to the one who's bangs where styled to the left. They all bowed and continued to stare at me.

"Well I'm Cecilia. Nice to meet you all but I have duties to attend to." I smiled and I dismissed myself.

'That was rather awkward.' I thought.

I went back to the library. I walked over to the bookcases and skimmed through the titles. I wanted to find something interesting. I saw a book that didn't have a title so I got it out. I opened it and saw it was blank. I flipped through seeing the rest of the book was like this. I took it back over to the desk. I rummaged through its drawer's and found ink and a fountain pen. I went to the first page and I started to write about my cousin. The doors opened but I didn't look up. I heard footsteps come towards me. I finally looked up to see Canterbury with a tray adorned with snacks and tea.

"Hello." I said hoping I could talk to him. He didn't say a word. He set down the try on the desk and started to pour the tea into the cup. "What type of tea is this?" I asked.

"It is earl grey." He said quickly.

"Thank you." I took the cup from him. He set a plate down that had what looked like a type of pie. "What is this?" I stared up at him.

"It is deep dish apple raisin pie." He stated. There was and extra plate on the tray and the piece was huge.

"Can you cut this piece in half and set one half on the other plate?"

"Yes My Lady." He did this task quickly. "Fork or spoon?" He asked me.

"Which do you like to eat with?" I asked.

"Well I like to eat with forks." He looked confused.

"Then spoon please. Will you sit and have the other half with me? I am terribly bored."

"But.."

"Please its not hurting anything." I watched him pull up a chair. I took a bite. "This is amazing." I smiled. He took a bite and smiled too. He finished quickly and he stood up.

"Thank you but I have to go now." He took everything except what I still had in front of me and he disappeared. I closed the book and stood up. I got up and I walked downstairs trying to be quiet. I looked outside and I saw how beautiful it looked. I sneaked out and I walked to the shade. I looked at the trunk and I walked around the base until I saw what i was searching for. It was where Chris and I had carved our names into the tree. I touched it and smiled. I looked up and saw the maze of branches. I climbed the tree quickly. I knew it wasn't lady like but I didn't care. I got to the desired branch and I rested. I looked down and all around the tree. I could see the house and I thought.

'Is it possible Chris is alive.'

I looked down to see one of the boys.

'I guess its Thompson.'

He looked at the trunk of the tree. He but his back against the tree and slid down it. He rested and he looked up. I looked back down at him. He looked confused when he spotted me. I jumped down and landed on my feet. I walked over to him and smiled.

"Hi." I smiled at him.

"Hello." He just gave me and expressionless face.

"You are Thompson right?" I asked him and I sat in front of him.

"Yes. I already tended to the flowers." He stared. I frowned.

"That's fine. What is wrong?" I asked.

"What are you talking about My Lady?" He stared.

"It seems like everyone in this house doesn't want to talk to me." I stood up. I walked back towards the house.

'Maybe I can talk to Timber.'

I sneaked back in after dusting myself off. I walked towards the kitchen. His back faced me and I sat on the counter like I would at the shop. He turned around and almost dropped the dishes.

"Hello." I smiled.

"Hi My Lady. Is there something you need?" He put the dishes up.

"No I just wanted to tell you the pie was amazing."

"I'm glad you liked it." He faced me and smiled.

"You are an amazing chef." I swung my feet. he walked over to me. I looked at him for a minute. He grabbed me and lifted me up and set me on the ground gently.

"Thank you My Lady. I need to start preparations for lunch."

'Well I know which one I can talk to now.'

I left feeling accomplished that I actually got one of them to talk to me.


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**Chapter 6: Stalling  
**

I went to walk up to the library but was stopped.

"We need to into town to retrieve books." Gerard said as he stepped in front of me.

"Okay." I looked up at him.

"We will have to change you." He started to walk back up the stairs and I followed him. We reached my room and I went and sat on my bed and I watched him. He pulled out an elegant pink dress that had bows on it. He pulled out some shoes that matched the pink color. He walked over to me and started to undress me. I didn't care that I was a girl and that he was a male. He had me dressed in a short time. He replaced my white eye patch with a pale pink one. He put a small pink bow on the side of the eye patch. I was all dressed and ready. "I have already have the carriage for you. We walked out and he helped me into it and I got comfortable. I felt the it jerk as it started moving. I felt tired so I stretched out in the seat. I fell asleep quickly because the rocking was so soothing.

"Wake up My Lady." Gerard spoke softly. I opened my eyes and he helped me out. I stretched a little until I spotted where we were. "I am going to go in here and get some books. Feel free to come with me or go look at the dress store."

"Okay." I smiled and walked way.

'I'm going to go to the Undertaker's shop.'

I walked down the alley way and I saw it. I opened the door slowly. I saw Grell, William, And The Undertaker. I kept my head low so maybe the wouldn't recognize me right away.

"Hello little girl." The Undertaker laughed.

"Hi." I spoke softly. I looked up and saw their faces. They smiled.

"Are you lost brat?" Grell giggled.

"No I am not." I smiled.

"Then why are you here?" William asked.

"William this isn't funny." I stared at them. "Do you not remember me?" I asked.

"No." They all said.

I heard the door open and I felt Gerard's hand on my shoulder.

"My Lady we are late." I nodded as he talked and we left.

"Why don't they remember me?" I asked.

"They don't remember you because when I changed you, they forgot all memories of you." He said as he helped me back into the carriage.

When we were back at the house I went to my room. I kicked of my shoes and I locked the door behind me.

'I'm so tired of this. I want this to stop. I don't want to deal with these pitiful emotions anymore.'

I looked over at the book case. My fingers trailed over the books until I found the one that opens the bookcase. I pulled it and stepped in. It shut behind me and I had to go forward into the darkness. I heard voices and kept going closer. I got to a door and I peeked in. I saw a silhouette of a boy but I saw a taller man.

"Are you sure this is the girl?" I knew this voice. It was Ciel.

"Yes this is the girl." The man spoke back.

"Good Sebastian." Ciel said again. I opened the door all the way and I stepped in.

"Why are you here?" I asked as I stepped in. They turned towards me and stared.

"Hello." Ciel spoke.

"Answer my question." I barked.

"Why should I?" He smiled. "You are but only a mere human that doesn't have anyone to protect her." He giggled. I held my head low and I reached for my eye patch. I yanked at it ripping it off. I looked up at them.

"Then kill me." I ordered.

"Ciel don't." Sebastian cut in.

"Sebastian will you kill her?" Ciel asked.

"Only if you order me to." Sebastian looked down.

"Kill her Sebastian." I stood there as Ciel gave the order.

"As you wish." Sebastian readied himself and he walked towards me.

"Don't touch her." I heard one of the triplets speak. Sebastian stood there. I saw Canterbury appear beside me.

"Sebastian stop stalling." Ciel barked. I was picked up and I was held tightly. I tried to move but I couldn't. Who ever was holding me was running quickly. It held my head down and slowed some. It walked slowly and removed its hands from me. I looked up and saw who it was. I stood in front Timber who stared at me.

"Thank you." I said as I stared back at him. He knelt in front of me and stared at my face. He brought his hand up to my face and touched my left eye lid. "What are you-" I fell quickly to the ground and it all went black.


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**Chapter 7:Standing There  
**

I moved over and felt pillows. I opened my eyes and saw the triplets standing. I looked over and saw Gerard standing next to the bed.

"Why did you do that?" Gerard asked me. I looked over at Canterbury who was covered in blood.

"I don't know what I was thinking. Are you okay?" I pointed at him.

"He is fine you are lucky they saved you." He gave them a gesture of dismissal. They walked out and I was left there. "We will be hosting a ball in your returning and everyone will be attending. It will be a ball and it will be tomorrow night."

"Okay. Leave me to rest." He left and I turned over. I didn't see any sunlight only the moon. I watched it move. I fell asleep quickly.

I was woken by Canterbury opening the door. He brought in a tray of tea.

"Good Morning." I spoke softly.

"Good morning My Lady. Feeling good I hope." He poured the tea.

"Yes thank you." I took the cup and sipped it.

"Gerard will be up shortly." He left and I drank my tea. The door opened again.

"Good Morning." I said to Gerard.

"Good Morning. What would you like to wear to the ball?" He walked over to my closet.

"Something elegant." I responded after thinking.

"Okay." He pulled out a light blue dress that was long. It had white lace around the top and hat a split down the middle of the skirt. In that split there were rows of white lace then light blue lace. At the top there were straps that fell down to the sides. In the middle of the top there was a bow with a fake white rose. "Is this to your liking?"

"Yes." I said. "What about my hair?"

"Oh yes." He stepped farther into the walk in closet then came back holding something. "They are pigtails that match your hair color." He held them up and smiled. "They will look magnificent. I will leave and finish preparations then I will come dress you." He smiled and walked out.

I sat there and flipped through the pages of a book that was in the bedside table. I was shocked when the door opened and threw the book at the door.

"Is it bad timing?" Gerard asked as he picked it up.

"No you just startled me." I giggled.

"Good I will dress you now." He went over and grabbed the dress. He pulled off my shirt and he put a corset on me. He pulled at the stings and I felt snug but it was okay. He slid the dress onto my body and tied the back. He put on the shoes he had arranged for me to wear and they made me a bit taller. He fixed my hair quickly then put fake white and pale blue rose hair pins in my hair. One white and one blue on each side. He stepped back to take in my outfit and I giggled. "I didn't know you would look this amazing." I blushed. "I need to go check on everything."

"Okay." I said he left and I looked in the mirror. "Wow I look like a princess." I waited at my door. I finally walked away and sat on my bed. "Why do I feel so nervous?" I looked over to my nightstand. "My eye patch." I grabbed it and tied it on like Gerard would. I stood up and walked over to my window and watched. I heard the door open and I saw Gerard. He smiled.

"Everything will go fine. I have a surprise for you." He held a box in his hand. He opened in a I saw a beautiful necklace with a blue pendant. There was a stroke of red in it. "This was your mother's." He took it out and put it around my neck. "You may come out when you wish." He left quickly. I smiled and stared at it.

"Well I guess I should go down there." I opened my door and walked towards the stairs. I was shocked to see so many people. There was a mixture of different colors. The people all chatted and danced, but I just stood there and watched.


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**Chapter 8:Raven  
**

I walked down the steps and saw many people. I caught sight of my butlers but I saw Sebastian. I watched him move into the crowd. I looked for Ciel but never spotted him. I kept walking deeper into the crowd. I bumped into someone and stared at him.

"I'm sorry." I remembered the voice but I couldn't figure out who it was.

"No it is my fault." I twiddled my fingers. "Are you okay?"

"Yes I am fine." He walked off. I turned to see Sebastian again. He pulled me into him.

"We should dance." He took my hand and we started to twirl.

"Why do you do this?" I asked knowing he was only doing this because we were in a crowd. I couldn't protest.

"Because I choose to dance with the princess."

"I'm not a princess."

"Nonsense everyone wants you. You are special and important." He pulled away and I stood there. I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Gerard.

"Are you having a good time?" He asked me.

"Yes its spectacular." I smiled. I looked up. I heard something. "Is someone at the door?" I asked.

"I will see My lady." He walked away. I saw the door open. He took a coat and a hat. I watched the crowd split and I caught a glimpse of Gerard's face. It looked happy and rather angry. I saw a boy about my age walk towards me. His black hair swished as he walked. He had on a suit similar to what I had to wear when I was with The Undertaker. He came closer and held out his hand.

"May we dance?" I didn't know what to do so I took his hand. He smiled as he twirled me.

"Who are you?" I asked hoping my eye patch stayed on.

"I'm sad you don't remember me."

"What?" I pulled away and I stared at him.

"I'm Chris." He smiled and I felt dizzy. "Cecilia?" I looked at the door that was open. It led to the garden and looked like a great escape. I turned and ran as fast as my shoes permitted me to. I felt the bottom of my dress begin to rip. My shoes fell off and I kept running. I just ran farther into the rose garden. I was taking turns into the maze but I kept going. I saw a fountain and stopped at it. I panted and bent over. I heard nothing but the wind, and I saw the little piece of fabric at the bottom. I ripped it off and left it on the fountain. I started to walk.

"I have never been in this part of the garden." I smiled feeling safe. "I want to keep going." I did exactly that and kept walking into the maze. I got lost quickly. I heard two set of footsteps and they were close to me. One set started to run and so did I. I kept looking behind me to make sure the boy that claimed to be Chris wasn't following me. I ran into something and fell beck onto my back. I looked up to see a boy. It was the same boy from before. He was wearing all black and his hair was a deep purple. He looked slightly irritated and as he moved closer the rings hanging off of his clothes jingled. I flinched when he reached down to me.

"Are you okay Cecily?" He stopped. "Sorry I meant Cecilia." He helped me up.

"I'm fine. Thanks." I thought about him and his voice. "Who are you?" I dusted myself off.

"I uh... I'm Raven." He looked me up and down. "You are filthy."

"I know did you see that other boy while you walked?"

"What other boy?" He looked over his shoulder. His eyes that looked yellow kept me in a trance.

"The one that I danced with." I kept staring at him.

"No I didn't." He started to walk off. I didn't want him to leave. He kept walking but I couldn't move my lips. He turned around and he saw my expression. "Do you need help out of this maze?"

"Yes I'm lost." I was getting tired. He walked back and stood.

"Do you trust me?"

"Sure." I was scooped up and he walked. "You don't have to carry me." I blushed.

"Well I couldn't get you back as fast as I planned." He started to run. I felt his weight shift and he and I were in the air. It was like we were flying. He would jump over the tall rose bushes. I saw him glancing at me and he would smile. I saw my balcony widow come into view. I was surprised he could jump like this I couldn't see any demon contract marks on him. He jumped one last time and landed on the ledge with me in his arms. He let me go and he put me down. He stood behind me. I opened the balcony door and walked into my room. He stood there.

"Would you like to come in?" I turned around and asked him.

"Thank you." He followed me. I had never really had a guest in my room, that I invited in.  
"I will be right back." I went to my closet and grabbed something. I ran to my bathroom and changed quickly. I walked back out to see him still standing there. I looked at him and I saw something on his cheek. "Oh my gosh your bleeding."

"Huh?" I walked to him and tried to reach him. He pulled away like a frantic cat but I grabbed his head and pulled him into me. I put the fabric of my gowns sleeve to his cheek.

"You must have scratched yourself on a rose." I let go but he didn't move. He stayed there then I felt arms wrap around me. He now pulled me into him.


	9. Chapter 9

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**Chapter 9: Soul Stealer **

His arms went around me and I felt safe and warm. I didn't really know how to react so I did the same. I felt his chest move as he inhaled. We stood there for what seemed like an hour.

"Get your hands of my fiance." He let go.

"I am not your fiance." I swung around to see the boy that said he was Chris.

"Yes you are Cecily." He was working on my nerves.

"Don't call me by my nickname. You imposter." I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"My Lady please don't get worked up you are just tired." Gerard stepped in behind him.

"You all don't know what you are talking about. Don't tell me what to do. I know who Chris is. He is the love of my life. I would of died for him. I would have saved him. I know this boy is not Chris he is only but an imposter." I pointed at the boy.

"My Lady!" Gerard shouted. The boy came closer and he raised his hand as if he was going to slap me. Raven stepped behind and grabbed his hand. He whispered something but I couldn't hear.

"Everyone but Raven is to leave. NOW!" I shouted. I felt like I was going mad. The left and I locked the door. Raven stood there staring at me. "Thank you." I said softly.

"I was only protecting you." These words shocked me. "I think you have strained yourself. I think it may best if you lie down."

"But I can't." I sighed.

"Why not?" He asked walking over to me.

"Because I don't want you to go. If I do sleep... please promise you will come back?"

"I will come back. I promise." He walked me over to my bed. I laid down and got settled. "I will take these off for you." He removed the pigtails and placed them on the nightstand. He untied my eye patch. "I think you looked much better like this." He tugged on my short hair. He kissed my forehead and walked over to the door. I drifted off to sleep quickly.

I woke up and sprang up. I ran over to my closet and pulled out a simple blue dress that had a cute little white apron on it. I slid it on. I went to put on my eye patch and was shocked to see myself. I didn't look the same. I looked more like my old self. My hair was longer and had its halfway curly affect. I ran my fingers through it and giggled. I put on my eye patch and ran down the stairs. I stopped when I saw he was still there. I walked slower and more proper. I didn't want to let my guard down. I knew I looked childish but I was told if the enemy doesn't see you as a threat they won't expect your true power. I wanted him to see me as helpless, something I wasn't.

"Good morning My Lady. I see your extensions look magnificent." Gerard said as I sat in a chair. Gerard stood next to that imposter as he served him tea.

"Good morning. And thank you." I slightly giggled.

"I have planned for you and Chris to spend the whole day together doing fun activities." Gerard smiled.

"Good. I look forward to it." I smiled too. It was a perfect trick to make them both think I was okay now. But on the inside I knew I wasn't okay. Was I ever truly okay?

"Its good to hear you are happy." The boy said.

"Yes thank you. What is our first activity?" I asked trying to show a smile.

"We will take a stroll in the garden." He stared.

"Good. Lets get started." I stood up and so did he. "One moment." I ran up to my room and grabbed my necklace. I put on some stockings that were black and white striped and then I put on some black shoes. I ran back down and walked out with the boy. Gerard stayed behind.

"It is a rather beautiful day." They boy walked with me.

"It is Chris." I smiled at his name. I had a feeling this boy was an imposter.

"Tell me. Who was that boy you were hugging?" He turned to me.

"That was my friend, Raven." I smiled.

"Well you were rather upset last night."

"I know I was and I apologize for acting like a child." On the inside I knew this was an act and last night that was the real me.

"It is fine." He pulled me close and I snarled at his action and we kept walking. I looked at my pendent and it glowed. It had that swirl in it when Gerard placed it around my neck.

"Lets go to our secret spot." I giggled remembering playing all of these games. I ran ahead and I took twists and turns. I heard the boy follow me. I got to the tree and climbed it. He stood at the bottom and looked up. "So tell me Chris. Where did you go after I ran into the burning house?"

"I uh.." He stuttered.

"Time for afternoon tea." I heard Gerard yell from the back porch.

(Raven's POV)

I followed her as she ran to the tree. I let the shadows consume me and hide me. I listened to their conversation and smiled.

"Tell me Chris. Where do you go after I ran into the burning house?" She asked.

"I uh..." I heard the boy stutter as he tried to think.

I knew he was smart but I didn't now this little mess up would make it so clear. He made it clear to me. He made it clear that I had to kill him, and I needed to do it quickly. He was going to try to hurt her. He was going to try to take her soul.


	10. Chapter 10

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**Chapter 10:Steam**

(Raven's POV)

They left quickly and I watched her skip towards the house. I knew that wasn't her. She was acting. She was playing along with the game called life. I watched that boy. Hey kept walking and smiling. I wondered why he hadn't of already killed her. He won the butler's trust. I'm surprised the butler hasn't smelt the demon. I saw them disappear into the house. I knew the boy wouldn't show his true form while the butler is by her side. I slid out into the sunlight. I knew where Chris went after she went in. He went in with her. She was drug out but he wasn't. He went towards the black light and was captured. He was given special abilities to hunt demons. She doesn't know it yet but she will want to die even more than what she did before. When she finds out what destroyed her life she will want death to take her.

(Cecilia's POV)

I sipped my tea and watched the boy. I don't know why I asked him that. Even I didn't know what happened to Chris after I got captured. I was hoping he would of confessed to being and imposter. I wanted him to go away.

"I want to take a nap in my room." I said quickly. I put my cup down. "I will have no interruptions. I will wake on my own."

"As you wish." Gerard spoke calmly.

"I will see you all when I wake." I walked to my room. Once I got to my room I closed the door behind me and I sighed.

"Has it been a long day?" I looked up and saw Raven.

"Yes." I sighed again. He came at me quickly and I smiled up at him. He put his hand on the wall trapping me. His hair covered his face somewhat. He put his hand on my cheek and cupped it. He shot me a seductive smile. He pulled away.

"I'm sorry I don't know what came over me." He turned around.

"It is fine." I took off my stockings and shoes. "I need to change I will be back soon." I went to my wardrobe and grabbed a blue gown that was short and had slender straps. It was more of a slip than anything. I walked back out and didn't see anyone. I was alone again. I crawled into bed and was somewhat disappointed that I was alone, but I didn't mind. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

I opened my eyes and it was dark. I turned over and I didn't see any light.

"I guess I slept longer than what I thought I would." I talked to myself. I walked into the bathroom and I ran a bath. I grabbed the bubbles and poured them into the water. I stripped off and stepped in. The warm water surrounded me. I relaxed and closed my eyes. Steam quickly filled the room making me sink deeper into the water. I reached up to turn the water off put was shocked to grab something else. It was a hand. I pulled away quickly. I saw a set of eyes appear and the water shut off. The steam swirled around the room and I got as far away from the eyes as I could.

"You seem to be relaxed." The eyes moved closer.

"Leave me alone." I ordered.

"Why would I do that?" The voice seemed to move. I felt hands on my face. "Are you comfortable?" They slowly moved to my shoulders.

"Stop." I demanded. They did and I felt a face next to mine.

"Tell my why I should." It demanded. It moved and I thought I was alone until I felt it next to me again.

"You should stop because I said to stop." I said giving it an answer.

"That's not good enough." The steam settled and I could fully see. I saw that boy. His eyes were red. He held up a hand and sharp black claws came out of his finger tips. He moved even closer. His face was inches from mine. "You can't escape this. I will get you. I will get what I was truly after." He was gone and I was alone. He disappeared just like the steam.


	11. Chapter 11

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**Chapter 11: Capable**

I heard thunder as I got out of the bath tub. I was shaking as I grabbed a towel. I collapsed onto the floor and cried. I knew what was going to happen.

"I'm going to die." I cried into my hands. "I am going to meet the same fate as my mom and dad." I got up and dried off. I put back on the blue gown and wrapped up in a small blanket. I walked over to the bookcase and opened it. I walked down the cold steps and as I exhaled I saw my breath. It came out in little clouds and disappeared shortly after I exhaled. I kept walking an noticed that there was a hallway that I had missed. I walked down it and saw a set a steps at the end of it. I walked faster and got up them quickly. I opened the door slowly and noticed where I was. I was in the servant wing of the house. I stepped out and closed the door. I walked down the hall as rain hit the large windows. "I didn't know it was going to storm." I kept walking and lightning would light up the hall. I saw some doors at the end of the hall and I peeped in one of the keyholes and saw stuff scattered in the floor. I walked to the other and looked through and there was a candle lit inside. I tried to open it and it was locked. I saw a candle and a silhouette coming in my direction. It walked slowly. I tried some other doors and couldn't get in any of them. I got to the last one and opened it. I slipped in and looked for hiding spots. The lightning lit up the room and I saw a wardrobe. I walked over to it quickly. I opened it and slid into it. I closed the doors a bit just leaving it open to see if anyone came in. I waited and was about to step out but the door opened. I stopped and stayed still. The candle was set down and the person who I couldn't make out went into the bathroom. The door closed and I went to step out but noticed that the person in the bathroom would see me. I had to stay in there.

"What if they come to get something?" I thought. So I sunk deeper back into the wardrobe. I covered up with the blanket. I saw the bathroom door open and I saw it was one of the triplets. I thought back to which one was which. I looked closer and saw that it was Canterbury. He walked closer to the wardrobe and stopped. He seemed to sniff the air. He crouched down and looked under his bed. He seemed to shrug and walked back over to the wardrobe. I was hoping he wouldn't see me. He opened the doors and grabbed at a shirt that was meant for sleeping. He took it slowly and I closed my eyes. I didn't want him to think I was a freak or that I watched them. I opened one eye and thought that he didn't see me until I felt a hand slither its way up under my blanket and grab my ankle. I was jerked out and hit my butt on the floor. I looked up as I saw him stare down at me with a blank expression. I immediately pulled the blanket over me making sure I was covered up. It suddenly left my body and he still stared down at me. He put the stuff down and his hands lifted me up. Before I knew it I was sitting on the bed. He looked at me with a confused expression.

"What were you doing in the wardrobe?" He asked me.

"I couldn't sleep." I actually didn't know what I was doing.

"Why?" He crouched onto the floor and picked up the blanket and shirt.

"Because I was scared and couldn't sleep." I knew it sounded childish but I was hoping he wouldn't think of me as a weirdo. He wrapped me in the blanket and stared down at me. He scooped me up and he walked out of the room. I didn't know where he was taking me. He walked down the long hallway.

"I think I can help you." He stated when he saw I was staring at him.

"How?" I asked. He didn't answer he just kept walking. He had made it to my room and opened the doors. He walked in and set me on the foot of the bed. I was expecting him to just set me down and leave. He was a demon so I knew he wouldn't show any emotions that resembled care or love. He pulled back the sheets and fixed the pillows. He came back at me and picked me up. He laid me down and pulled the blanket I was wrapped in off of me. He pulled the sheets and comforter up around me then draped the blanket over me. I thought he was going to leave me, but he sat on the edge of the bed.

"I will stay here until you fall asleep. I don't need sleep anyways." He stared at the ground.

"Nonsense. You can lay down just take off your shoes." I smiled.

"But..."

"It will be fine." He did what I said and laid down. I scooted over so he had room. He faced me and pulled me in like I was a teddy bear. I knew he couldn't love me or care for me, but I felt as if he could. I knew that this would look bad if anyone were to come but I didn't care.

"I will leave by morning." He whispered. "Goodnight Cecilia." I snuggled into him and I fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**I don't own kuroshitsuji. **

**Chapter 12: "We go to them."  
**

I didn't have any blankets on and I was freezing. I opened my eyes and it was still dark. I was totally alone. No one was next to me. I sat up and looked around. I got up and wobbled. I felt uneasy, like someone was going to jump out. I felt just like when I was a child. When I was younger I couldn't sleep and I only slept when my mom would sit next to me when I slept. When I was at an orphanage I wouldn't sleep at all. The kids would pick at me and call me names. Most of the people that went in to adopt would take one look at me then walk away. They would look at me as if I wasn't even human. I would sneak out into the streets during the day and sleep under the fruit crates that were shipped to the orphanage. They would all search for me, but could never find me. I could say that I sort of lost all hope and was close to the edge. After Carrie would sit with me at night like my real mom I regained some hope. I eventually forgot about most of my past and occasionally I would remember something, but I would push it away. Then when it came for me again and got Carrie I remembered everything and ran again. I lost my hope when she told me to run. She had pushed me out of the way when the black surrounded her. She tried to run, but fell. I could remember seeing her face and the blood that ran down her face. I went to grab her hand, but it turned black. The men had used their power to take her from me. I ran and ran until I couldn't go anymore. I remembered begging The Undertaker to take my life but he didn't. I wanted my horrible life to end there.

"You shouldn't think so loudly. I can hear you." I saw eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"I can hear you think." It laughed.

"Just leave." I ordered.

"I can end it." He came into view.

"What?" I turned to him.

"I can end your life and you can move on." The boy came closer.

"But my soul belongs to Gerard."

"Yes it does, but you can die now." His red eyes flared.

"Do it. Do it then. Just end it. End this useless game. There is no winning. Show me the end." I looked at him. His claws came out.

"I can tell you something."

"What would that be?" I asked.

"The men you saw were only the black light. They are not really men. The power can take human shape." He came close to me. He put his hand on my cheek.

"How do you know this?" I asked.

"Because you should remember-" He looked away.

"Get your filthy hands off of her." I saw Raven.

"Why? This is what she wants." The boy laughed. He started to change. He resembled my father. "Do I look familiar?" He started to change into my mom. "Do you remember me?" Then he looked like Carry. His skin was blood covered and looked just like her. "You take responsibility for my death."

"Stop this." Gerard was behind Raven.

"I want Helena to see this." He laughed. His claw touched my head.

I saw from Carrie's perspective. I saw myself running away. I heard her thoughts.

"Helena I love you. Try to run. Don't lose hope." I heard her sweet voice say. I fell to the floor when he removed it.

"She loved you and all you did was look back at her body." He spoke and I saw the black robes swirl again. I heard my mothers screams. Cecilia was all that I could hear her scream. I heard my own sobs.

"Stop this." Raven said. I looked up to see what looked like Chris standing next to him. I saw myself follow Chris out into the hall. I was seeing all of my memories from another perspective. "Cecilia!" I heard Raven scream and I understood. It was Chris. I could still hear Chris's scream and it sounded just like Raven's. But why? I felt the edge crumble.

(Raven's POV)

I watched as she laid there lifeless. This thing was going to kill her. I took one look at Gerard and I knew what to do. I knew to let go. I ran at the boy and tackled him. His claws ripped into my sides. I let the black power surge through my hands. I saw black fill his skin and he smiled.

"You can't kill me this easily."

"I want you to suffer." I spit.

"Chris, I hope you know this isn't the end." His claws retracted and he was gone. It was only smoke. I stopped and sat there on the floor. I grabbed my head and felt extreme pain. I remembered following her into the house. I thought she had gone towards the black light, but they had gotten to her faster. I remember going towards the black light and I was consumed. I felt the power surge through my body. I remembered being picked up by the a man. He looked at me with no concern or care.

"You chose your fate boy." He spoke.

"I know what you are." I stated to him. "You're a hunter." I knew he wasn't an ordinary hunter. He hunted supernatural beings. He trained me not to kill for pleasure or joy, but only to kill for a purpose. My purpose was to save Cecilia.

I snapped out of it and looked up to see her laying there. I crawled to her and pulled her into my arms. She was slowly breathing and was cold. "We go to them." I looked up at Gerard as I spoke.


	13. Chapter 13

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**Chapter 13: Lemons  
**

(Cecilia's POV)

I turned over to feel warmth. I had a pain in my side ,but I kept moving. The smell of my bed was different and my bed seemed softer. My eyes fluttered open. I saw sunlight fill the room. I looked around to see I wasn't in my room. To my surprise it appeared that I wasn't even in a room in my house. I saw that the wallpaper was an ugly yellow. It looked as if a sick sun had stained it. I scanned the room and saw a vanity, what appeared to be a closet door, two nightstands, and other decorations. I sat up and flung my legs over the side of the bed. I felt a sharp pain and moved a bit slower. I walked slowly over to the window. I peeped out of it and stared. I saw green grass and a bunch of trees. I looked closer and spotted Ciel walking. I moved away and sat at the vanity. I scowled into the mirror. My pale white skin reflected the sunlight. My eyes looked tired and sick. I looked at my hair and tried to straighten it out. I poked my side after looking at my shirt. I felt pain ,but it wasn't a sharp pain. I continued to get up and walk to the door. I opened it slowly and saw a short hallway and series of doors. I stepped into the hallway and walked towards the end that didn't have a door. I tried to be stealthy and quiet.

"Miss." I heard a familiar voice speak slowly. I turned around on my heels to see Sebastian.

"Hello." I did a little wave with my fingers.

"Good morning. I hope that your room is to your liking. I will escort you to the dining room to eat." He walked forwards and I followed quickly. After walking down a hall that was adorned with paintings of things like farms and waterfalls ,we came upon more doors. He opened them and I saw a large table. He pulled out a chair and I sat. I felt so awkward and out of place.

"Uhhh... Sebastian..." I mumbled.

"Yes." He looked at me strangely.

"I don't mean to trouble you... but...uhh... can I sit in the kitchen? I won't bother you." I looked downward at the floor.

"If you wish." He smiled and I stood. I followed him. I sat at a table once we reached the kitchen and I watched him. "What would you like?" He asked.

"What ever you feel like fixing." I smiled and swung my legs.

"I suppose you could have toast and poached salmon." He turned around and grabbed a pan. He worked quickly and sat a plate in front of me. I grabbed a fork and ate slowly. He tuned and started to walk away.

"Why am I here?" I asked.

"Your friend and butler insisted we look after you." He stopped for a moment then walked away.

I didn't want him to leave. That was the main reason I wanted to sit in the kitchen. I wanted to talk to someone. I got up and scanned the counter top. I spotted lemons. I grabbed them and a knife along with scissors. I moved quickly to get outside. I opened the door and walked out. The grass felt good underneath my feet. I looked for Ciel and saw him no where. I walked quickly to a tree. I saw a fountain in the bushes. It was small but held stagnate water. I walked closely to see fish in it. I crouched down and looked at my reflection. I saw my left eye and looked away. I put the lemon and knife down. I took the scissors and looked at myself in the water. I placed them close and snipped away. I gasped when I felt the hair start falling. My hair was floating around me. I didn't care that it was gone and I didn't care about how boyish it looked. I looked back into the water and saw it was shorter and I looked like myself again. I knew I would be gone for a bit and I knew they wouldn't notice I was gone so I was okay. I grabbed the lemons and the knife and cut the six in half. I didn't like wasting lemons ,but I knew it would be fine. I grabbed two half's and squeezed them into my hair. I grabbed two more half's and squeezed them in my hair again. My hair was drenched and smelt good. I grabbed the lemons and walked further into the woods. I saw a ray of sunshine and sat in it. My hair was turning dry after a while so I squeezed some more into my hair. I sat in different positions and waited to use up all the lemons. I heard Sebastian yell my name but I ignored him and waited for my hair to dry. I felt it become hotter and I got up. I tried to sneak in and was successful. I got to my room and looked in the vanity. I was stunned with the results.

**Sorry about taking forever to update. Some may know the lemon trick if not wait till the next chapter. IF you do know I may exaggerate the results. :P **


	14. Chapter 14

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**Chapter 14: My Hell**

I stared at the mirror and felt accomplished. My eyes fell up my hair. It now looked like a dirty blonde. I was just happy that my hair didn't look like the ugly wallpaper. I looked at my clothes and thought I should change. I scanned the room and saw a door. I thought it would be a closet so I opened it anyways. I peeked in to see variety of colors. There were dresses, pajamas, lounge clothes, shoes, and undergarments. I smiled and walked in. I reached out for a violet color that had black accents on it. I pulled it outwards and saw it was a dress. It looked like a cute lolita dress that a doll would wear. It had ruffles and had little black bows. I got dressed and looked for some stockings. I found some a paler purple that somewhat matched the dress. I grabbed some shoes that were black that didn't go above my ankles and they had a strap that went across and buckled. I slipped them on and fixed the bow on the buckle. I went to my mirror quickly to see. I stared at myself, something was missing. I went back to the closet and stood. I spotted it, I grabbed a black ribbon and eye patch. I went back to the mirror and tied the ribbon in my hair to look like a head band then I put on the eye patch. My outfit was complete and I felt happier. I went to turn around and walk out ,but had hit something hard. I looked up and my eyes meet with Sebastian's. He seemed to gape at me.

"Why Miss, your hair?" He seemed to take in the situation slowly.

"Yes?" I stared at his expression.

"You are needed in the library." He took my hand and pulled me. I didn't like the feeling of going against my will.

"Why?" I asked trying not to fall over.

"My Master wishes to speak with you." He opened the door and pushed me in. He stood behind me and it seemed like he was blocking me from leaving.

"Please sit." Ciel turned around in his chair. He stared then stood up. "What did you do to your hair?" He asked and walked closer as I walked to a red chair. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me. He touched my hair that was really short.

"I didn't like it the way it was before." I smiled and wiggled out of his grip. I sat in the chair silently. "I hope its fine."

"I hope you know you will be with us for a while." He sat in his chair and Sebastian left.

"How long?" I asked.

"As long as we need you too." He smiled. "I hope you enjoy your stay. Oh and please don't try to leave." He smiled and turned back around. I felt the need to get up, so I did. I walked away and I felt uneasy and doomed. I walked around and tried to find my way. I walked down hallways and tried to open doors. I looked under and over items. I touched pictures and hit walls lightly.

"There must be a secret room." I whispered.

"A what?" I turned around to see Sebastian.

"Uh.. nothing." I tried to cover it up.

"Well Miss what would you like to do today?" He asked.

"Is there a river?" I asked looking out at the light.

"Yes not far from the house. Why do you ask?" He looked at me awkwardly.

"I would like to sit at the bank and play." I swayed slightly.

"I will take you there." He turned and walked away and I followed as usual. We walked for a bit. He carried a towel as we walked. I heard the stream and started to run to it. I kicked off my shoes and took off my stockings. I stepped in to the water. It was knee deep and felt cold. I watched the crystal cleat water travel around my legs. I saw little fish travel with the current. Sebastian walked next to the bank and collected my shoes and stockings. "I have never seen someone become so energetic over a river." He chuckled.

"Well I have had lots of good memories at rivers." I thought of Chris. I remembered when I would make little boats out of leafs and sticks. My boat would always fall apart or sink. Chris's on the other hand would always float. I would get so angry and he would try to teach me. It never worked. I felt so sad and cried. I laughed even though there were tears.

"Are you okay?" Sebastian grabbed my shoulder from the bank. I snapped back into reality and realized what I was doing.

"I'm sorry." I wiped them away and went to go back to the bank. I started drying off after I got out.

"I would expect you to be heartless and not have any compassion . I know I shouldn't say anything but its true." Sebastian smiled after his comment.

"What?" I asked as I put on my stockings.

"I know this isn't something I should say to you ,but you watched your house burn. You watched people you loved and cared for die. Your heart was ripped out with them. My Master has had his share of tragedies ,but he is not as kind as you. You are truly a pure person." He took my towel.

"No I'm not." I looked down.

"What?" He looked at me.

"I could have saved them. Where is Chris now? He is dead because of me. And Carrie. My Mother and Father." I grabbed my arm. "If I would have died they would have lived. I'm the reason they are dead. If I was not a failure I could have changed it. I was given a second chance and blew it. This is my third and no one else needs to die."

"It is not your fault." He stepped closer.

"I need to die. The truth is I hate no one, I hate my self for the fact I should have died in their places. They had lives and had a reason to live. I'm a sorry excuse of a human." I turned to run and did. I kept going. I ripped my stockings and dress. My arm caught a branch and I started to bleed. My speed slowed and I stopped. I fell to my knees and cried. "Is this my punishment for being a failure?" I whispered.

"Helena." I looked up and saw him again. I just sobbed. "Should you end this now? Why are all of your clothes here?" HE walked closer. The boy that said he was Chris came closer. He circled me slowly. "You did notice all of your clothes are here?"

"Yes." I sobbed. "Why?" I covered my face with my hands.

"They dumped you off here. They left you and you are alone yet again. You may have a demon and a brat demon around you ,but they show you no love. You are alone for what the third time." He smiled and giggled.

"I guess I have hit sudden realization." I looked up.

"It took you long enough." He laughed.

"Cecilia you are worth so much." Sebastian stated from behind.

"No shes not. She even knows it now. She is of no worth. She is a poor excuse of a human, and was a sorry excuse of a daughter." He smiled.

I heard a rustling and saw Ciel come out of no where.

"Leave her alone." He stated.

"Why should I leave her alone?" He asked playfully.

"I know things you don't." Ciel smiled slightly.

"Like what, Brat?" The boy asked.

"Why should you have to know. You aren't even Chris." Ciel smiled. "I even know who you really are." He pointed at the boy. "I also know what you are responsible for." The boy looked at me and smiled. He crouched down to me.

"Honey you look confused." He giggled. He looked deformed then I saw a black robe. I stared blankly at it. "Is it coming clear?" He chuckled.

I didn't say anything I just felt empty. This boy, this thing, was responsible for my hell that I called life.


	15. Chapter 15

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**Chapter 15: Red Splatters.  
**

I stood up slowly. I had no hope of getting any of my past loved ones back. I had been told that life was a beautiful experience and a luxury. How could this be pleasurable? I stared blankly into the boy's eyes. I didn't cry or show an emotion anger.

"Why me?" I asked.

"Huh?" He looked puzzled.

"Why me? That is one thing you can answer." I asked.

"Well I was looking for a pure soul. If I kill you then you will be mine." He smiled at me. I backed up. "Oh but Helena I thought you wanted it to end." He chuckled.

"I would like it to end, but not in your hands. I want it to end in mine." I walked away shoving tree limbs out of my way. It was starting to become dark but I knew my way to the house. I saw it come into my view and I tried to walk faster. My eyes began to grow heavy and I felt dizzy. I started to wobble and sway as I walked. I got to the door and I leaned into it. I stumbled as I walked to my room. I looked around at the ugly wallpaper and fell to the floor. My eyes closed and I felt everything go cold. I fought the feeling and sat up. I gasped for air. I coughed asthmatically. "What... is... going...on?" I asked in between coughs.

"You will be fine, you are just overwhelmed." I felt hands grab my arms. "Lets get you into bed." Sebastian stated as he placed me on the bed. He grabbed a pink gown from the closet. I tried to break my dizzy spell. I stared at him blankly. "I will stay with you to make sure you are okay." He put the gown on me and took off the ribbon and eye patch.

"If I asked you to kill me, would you?" I asked.

"No. There are things unsolved." He smirked.

"Like what?" I asked.

"You will learn soon. Do you like to sleep on your side?" He asked avoiding my questions.

"Yes I do." I laid down trying to think but I couldn't. I fell asleep quickly.

"Cecilia... Wake up." I heard a voice say. I opened my eyes slowly. I sat up trying to see in the dark room. I heard rustling and saw my door was open. I got up and slowly to the door. I didn't see anyone. I peeked out and saw no sign of life. Turning quickly on my heels I heard something. "Don't leave me Cecilia." I decided to walk into the hallway and see were it was coming from. The hallway stretched on for what seemed like forever. I kept scanning the walls for familiar paintings. "Hurry up." The voice sounded so familiar. I kept walking until I saw something odd. There was a flower on the floor. I continued to walk to it. There was a vase on a table that had flowers in it ,but the flower I held didn't match the other flowers.

"Maybe this voice isn't real?" I tried to comfort myself. I turned around to see more flowers on the ground. I tried to back up and run away ,but I stepped on flowers. I looked around me and the flowers were everywhere.

"Don't you remember them? They were my favorite." I heard the voice say. I hated those flowers. They were white roses. They seemed so pure to me ,but when abused they bruised. I didn't want to become bruised and wilt. I wanted to die quickly and get it over with.

"Stop." I stated. I think that is what I was scared of ,I was scared of dying slowly. I didn't want to watch everything grow old with me. I knew I was thinking nonsense by then. I closed my eyes trying to wake up. I stood there for a bit trying to wake, but couldn't. My eyes fluttered open and I saw that I was in a rose garden. The roses were dripping wet with a red liquid.

"Don't you like this color? You love red, don't you?" It asked.

I didn't answer I just sat down and waited. The red dripped faster and faster. It seemed to soothe me and I soon laid down and slept.

I shot up in my bed.

"What the heck?" I asked out loud.

"Are you all right?" I saw Ciel and Sebastian at the foot of my bed.

"I'm okay. Sorry." I stated. "Why are you here?"

"We needed to make sure you were okay. Tomorrow is busy." Ciel spoke sharply.

"How will it be busy?" I asked yawning.

"We have received information on who may be controlling this "Black Light."" He stood next to Sebastian.

"Huh?" I was puzzled.

"The "Black Light" is an organization that sends out these monsters to steal the souls that have been hurt, are pure, or are in the sights of a demon. In this case you have been targeted with a strong "Dark Monster" because all apply to you. The one you are cursed with is one that shows you painful memories. These actions will make you give into death or make you give it your soul." Sebastian stood next to him silently.

"So why is tomorrow busy?" I asked.

"The man we believe that controls this organization will be at a party and we are going. If you go something is bound to happen at the party and we may get you out of this mess." Sebastian answered.

"But what if I'm targeted while at the party?"

"We have back up." Ciel went to walk out. I saw something behind his ear. I tried to look closer ,it looked like the contract on Sebastian's hand ,but it had different shapes in it. I watched as he walked out and saw it had crescent shapes in it. I found this suspicious ,because I knew Sebastian put his seal on Ciel's eye. I stopped thinking about it and continued with my morning routine. I got dressed and put on my eye patch at my vanity. I scanned my vanity and spotted a white rose that had red splatters.


	16. Chapter 16

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**Chapter 16: Our Secret  
**

I walked out of my room and turned to close the door then something caught my eye. The rose was gone. I scanned the desk and the floor far any signs of it ,but there was nothing.

"I guess I am hallucinating." I whispered to myself.

I kept walking down the hallway. I needed to go to the library to find a book on proper ballroom etiquette. I passed right by were I saw the roses. I looked at the floor trying to find one ,but was unsuccessful. I found a large door and slowly put my ear up to it. I didn't hear anyone or anything so I opened the door. I was shocked to see a large room filled with books. The bookshelves on the walls were filled with books. The smaller shelves that still towered over me were busting with books. The only color that stained the room was the color splashed on the spines of the books. I ran my fingers over the cold spines. I avoided the books that laid in the floor and scanned the titles.

"I need to find a guide to the books. Something that will tell me where it would be." I thought.

I walked through the maze of bookshelves walking around scattered books. I came to a dead end and stopped slowly. I found that what was at the end of the dead end was awkward. At the end was a statue of a mans head that was a dingy white and he was atop of a thick white pillar. Behind it was a bare wall. There wasn't any books. I walked towards it and reached out to touch it ,but tripped on a book. I fell and pulled it off. The head fell forward and stopped in midair. I stood quickly and examined it. I looked behind it and there was a something metal holding it. I pushed it forwards more and I heard a click. The wall behind it shifted open. I was amazed and walked slowly into the darkness that seemed to bleed from the opening. I felt a burst of coldness and slamming made me jump. I turned around to see the wall closed and the light it let in was gone. I let my hand trail against the wall to lead me. I walked for a bit until I heard footsteps. I saw a dim light appear and two bodies were behind it. I saw Sebastian slightly and Ciel walked closer to the wall. I got as close to the wall as possible. They turned down a hall that didn't seem to be there. I followed and listened to their conversation.

"Sebastian, when will you go get her ready?" Ciel asked.

"Shortly ,Master. How should I address her at the ball?"

"She will be known as my Fiancee Ada and I will be known as Edwin. You will be our butler Charles." Ciel spoke slowly. I quit following them and turned around. I quickly found my way back to the start. I needed to get out so it didn't look suspicious to Sebastian. I felt the wall and tried to find a trigger to open it. I found a lever and pulled it and the wall shifted. I ran to my room making sure the library's doors were closed. I was out of breath as I closed my door. I sat at my vanity and looked at the reflection. I saw Sebastian holding a white rose with red splatters.

"Did you do this to my Master's white rose?" He asked.

"No." I hoped he wouldn't question me anymore.

"Its time to get ready." He opened the closet door and stepped in. He came back with and elegant dress that was almost to the floor. It was a dark blue and had black accents on it. "This will match masters outfit." He smiled slightly.

'He is so happy with his master. Ciel and Sebastian make a good team. I am so grateful and I owe them.' I thought.

"Okay." I stated. He had put the dress on me and I stood still. I stared at my reflection. I looked like my mother. I had my fathers dark hair but now that my hair was lighter I looked like her. "Who's dress is this?" I asked.

"Gerard told me it was your mothers when she was younger." Sebastian tightened the back. I looked older and was happy with the black vines that swirled above the dark blue trim. The straps fell to the side of my shoulders. The bottom of the dress flowed nicely and had a lack trim. There was a large black bow on the back. He put black boots that had a heel and laced the,. He pulled out pigtails that were slightly curly.

"I fixed your old ones." Sebastian put them on and fixed my bangs over my eye. Then he touched up my face with makeup. "Jewelry and gloves." He put a blue and black choker around my neck then gave me black gloves. I put them on and they went up to my elbows. "Here is your ring." He held out a ring with a purple stone.

"For what?" I asked.

"You are engaged to Edwin ,Ada." He put it on my left ring finger. "I knew you were behind us." He put his finger up to his mouth as if to hush me. "I am Charles, Edwin is waiting." He walked out and so did I. I felt weird and older. I saw Ciel at the end of the hall waiting by the door. He was dressed in black and had blue accents on his outfit. He looked different but I couldn't tell what was different.

"Is something wrong my Dear?" He smiled as if acting.

"Not at all." I stood still awkwardly. His hair was covering his right eye and his hat covered up most of his hair.

"The carriage is waiting Ada." He held his hand out to me and I took it.


	17. Chapter 17

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**Chapter 17: A Game **

The ride was long and silent. The only noises I heard were the rain drops hitting the windows. I was glad Sebastian had brought and umbrella. I would occasionally glance over to catch Ciel staring out the window.

"Whats behind your ear?" I asked.

"Huh?" He stared at me.

"I asked, what is behind your ear?" I repeated.

"I don't know what you are talking about." He avoided my question.

"How much longer until we get there?" I asked a different question.

"Well the mansion is coming into view." He sighed. "The man throwing this ball is Lord Elliot. You will receive a mask to hide your face so remember my mask." He sighed.

"Okay, Edwin." I smiled as the fake name rolled off my tongue.

"We are here Ada." He said while adjusting his coat.

I looked out the window to see a large mansion. I saw large doors in the front. There were many butlers helping people out of their carriages. Everyone was wearing masks. The door opened and cool air swirled in. Sebastian stood there with a red and black mask. I was given a black mask with blue feathers and Ciel was given a blue mask with black feathers. We walked into the mansion together. Like a couple. We walked down a long hall with suits of armor staring at us. There were two men hidden behind masks and the end. They opened the door for us as we approached. I saw many colors. There were bright pinks and reds. They all swirled to the beat of the music. I smelt something familiar, blood. Everyone seemed to be fine with the smell. They kept dancing, chatting, and laughing. I felt so small and unimportant. I felt my body lean into Ciel's.

"Are you okay, dear?" He asked.

"Yes I'm fine, Edwin." I whispered back.

He spun me around to face him. He held onto me as he started to dance. I held onto him and danced along with him. I saw Sebastian in the corner looking around. He walked towards a set of doors that led into another hall. I was pulled into Ciel's chest and he held me close. The smell of him invaded my nose.

"Don't worry about him." He whispered. I felt him pull my chin up and I closed my eyes. I felt a warm sensation on my mouth then I tasted something foreign and sweet. I opened my eyes and noticed I was kissing Ciel. He pulled away and I was still alarmed. I felt a crimson color burn through my cheeks. I heard people chatter about the "cute couple".

"Why did you do that?" I asked quietly.

"I needed to distract them from Sebastian." he smiled. I felt weird. "Plus its fine."

We chatted with many people about how we are "engaged" and "excited about the marriage". They thought we were so cute and they wished us a good marriage. I felt like an actress.

"Darling I need to go to the powder room." I was acting so fancy and I needed to get away from everyone.

"Of course. Don't take to long." He smiled and kept chatting.

I walked over to the doors Sebastian had walked through. The men standing there opened them.

"The powder room in down the hall, to the left ,and six doors down." I smiled and walked in.

I heard the doors close and saw no one. I relaxed and watched the floor as I walked. I hit something and looked up.

"I am so sorry sir." I said as I looked at his mask. It was a plain black mask with one black feather that looked like it was falling off. He was dressed in a long black coat that had a black sash that tied around the back that had a metal ring hanging off. His coat had silver looking buttons and the inside of his coat was blue. He had on white gloves and his shirt was white. He took his hand out of the pocket of his black pants. "I didn't hear you. I am really sorry." I said.

He moved close and put his hand on my shoulder. He pushed me to the wall. I gasped and stared at his mask. I went to hit it off of his face ,but he grabbed my wrist. I started to tear up from the amount of pressure he was applying to my wrist.

"Stop." I muttered. He didn't and got close to my face. I felt a tear slip over my cheek. His hot breath brushed my face and I felt his lips on mine. His tongue forced its way into mouth. He tasted sweet and I gave into his kiss. I put my hand on the back of his neck and I felt something weird. As I moved my fingers over it I pictured it in my mind. It seemed to be in the shape of the thing behind Ciel's ear. I moved my fingers over it more, but he pulled away. Before I knew it he had disappeared.

I kept walking and found my way to the powder room. I heard screams as I was heading back to Ciel. I started to run and finally reached the door. I tried to open the door ,but it wouldn't budge. I hit it multiple times and heard more screams. I turned around to see a the same man that kissed me. He walked to the door and looked at it. He swung and kicked the door knob and it fell to the ground and rolled. He opened it and walked into darkness. I heard screams and saw nothing. the room was pitch black. I walked into it shaking. I couldn't believe what was happening. I heard foot steeps and doors slamming. I never ran into anyone.

"EDWIN!" I screamed. I didn't hear anyone and I started crying. I felt something hit me and I fell to the floor. I felt something on me. It sat up.

"Ada." I heard it say and I smiled.

"Edwin." I said back. I saw a red eye and smiled even wider. I got up and dusted off in the dark. I saw candles light up one by one. I saw silhouettes appear then I saw who they were. I saw Sebastian another butler then the man that kissed me. We all stood there in the empty room.

"Why would you try to defeat us on our territory?" I saw the boy that claimed to be Chris come out of the floor. "You are really stupid." He laughed. Black masses came out of the floor. They took form. The black faded and I saw that they were the men in cloaks. "Poor, Poor Helena. Why would you even try anymore. Just give up." He smiled. I saw blood drip from his hands. "You know the white roses? That was me. I was leading you towards death." He held up his hand and threw a white rose at me.

"Leave her alone." Ciel said.

"Can I kill her?" The black masses asked together.

"No lets make this a game." The boy said.


	18. Chapter 18

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**Chapter 18: Blood**

I stood and watched him smile. "Lets see if we can get her to wish she was dead. Kill her friends. Leave her to me." He held out his hands and the black masses went at Ciel.

Ciel dodged them and grabbed me. I fell to the floor.

'What is he talking about? My friends? I only know Ciel and Sebastian. Who are the other two?' I wondered.

"Are you okay?" Ciel asked as Sebastian swung at them. I stared at them wide-eyed.

"EVERYONE STOP!" I screamed. They did just that.

"What?" The boy asked.

"Will you leave them alone if you kill me?"

"Yes." He answered.

"Then do it." I ordered.

I stood up and walked to where he was. The black masses disappeared. I sat in front of the boy and looked up at him.

"How will this work?" I asked.

"I will kill you and you will die. No one will remember you. Not even me." He smiled and pulled out a red dagger.

"Good no one should remember me. I am a joke." I smiled. He raised his hand. I saw the man behind the boy. I smiled. They boy thrust his hand down quickly. I didn't feel any pain at all. I opened my eyes to see the man crouched over quivering. His hands were bloody. The boy laughed hysterically and was gone.

"You can't die." He said as he collapsed. I darted to his side. He was smiling. I put his head in my lap and stared into his eyes. I ripped off the mask and almost screamed.

"Ra-Raven?" I stared.

"Cecilia I wish you remembered me. Did you lock me away with all of your sorrowful memories?" He smiled.

"What?" I was sobbing.

"Cecilia I wanted to tell you."

"Tell me what?" I asked.

"I always loved you." He talked slowly and he was fading.

"But Raven... hold on." I held him closer.

"Please remember." I felt my head spinning. I finally figured it out. I looked down at Raven's face. His bloody hand reached up for me. I took it and kissed him. I tasted his blood as I cried.

"Chris. Please hold on." I looked down at him and felt truly empty. Ciel stood over me.

"I did everything I could." Ciel spoke slowly. I held Chris's body close to mine. I felt his breathing slow.

"No..no...no...Chris..." I whispered as I held him. "I love you. I wish it was me that was dying." I whispered into his body. My tears were on his face and I saw his tears too.

"My love... Cecilia... I love you too...please forgive my decisions. It is for your safety." He started to cough.

"NO!" I held my love in my arms. I had his blood on my hands and it was my fault.

"Cecilia." Ciel grabbed my shoulder.

"What?" I asked as I put my mask on his face.

"We need to finish this." He said.


	19. Chapter 19

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**Chapter 19: Lost **

I stood up and faced him.

"We will." I looked at Sebastian and I saw that the other butler was Gerard. "When that brat comes back don't fight." I demanded. They nodded.

I heard laughter.

"That was dramatic." The boy spoke from the corner. Ciel whispered in my ear as he talked. I smiled wide.

"I'm ready to die. No tricks. Just my death." I turned to face him.

"As you wish. My Lady." He walked towards me. He held his hand high. A claw appeared. "Will you sit?" I did sit. "Turn and face your friends." I did. I smiled wide. The butlers watched in horror. I felt the claw slice my neck. My eyes flared as he did. I heard his screams as I laughed. I felt power surge through my body.

"You said no tricks." He screamed.

"That wasn't in the rule book to your game." I laughed.

_FLASHBACK_

Ciel whispered into my ear quickly.

"You will become a demon once he strikes you."

_PRESENT_

I heard the boy's body hit the floor. I stood slowly and turned around. I looked at the black mass and smiled. I reached down and a bright light blinded me. It flashed and a blood stained white rose laid on the floor.

"What just happened?" I heard Gerard ask.

"I made a contract with Chris. I was to protect Cecilia until she was strong enough to defeat the Black Light. He requested that either when he died or when she defeated it that she turn into a demon and his soul is mine. She turned into a demon ,because he was protecting her." Ciel walked over to the rose.

"He did this...to protect...me?" I waited. "So why did the Black Light die?"

"You are a demon now. You are no longer pure and you are a tormented soul. The Black Light can only take the souls of the pure. You killed it by becoming a demon." He smiled. "We should leave." Ciel looked at Sebastian and Gerard.

"Gerard. Are you still my butler?" I asked.

"Yes Mistress." He looked at me.

"Lets call the Undertaker. He can prepare a funeral for Chris." I glanced back at his body.

We had gotten to Ciel's townhouse quickly. I felt stripped of emotion and love.

'Why did he die for me? Why couldn't I save him?'

I had never wanted to die so bad.

We called the Undertaker and he had collected the body. He said that there would be a private service for us tomorrow. I was glad that I had told Chris how I felt. I still love him.

"Sebastian, What can kill demons?" I asked as he folded my clothes.

"The weapon of a reaper." He left quickly and I nestled into my bed. I fell asleep. I didn't dream all I felt was the feeling of being lost.


	20. Chapter 20

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. **

**Chapter 20: Leaving It Behind **

I woke up early feeling as if I didn't even sleep. I looked outside and it was still dark, I saw the silhouette of Ciel's fountain in his garden.

"I think I will go out there." I whispered to myself.

I opened my door silently. I saw Sebastian at the end of the hall. I slipped back into my room. I looked in the mirror. My eyes glowed a ruby-red. I looked pale and my contract seal glowed with the red. I looked at my window. I opened the window trying not to make a sound. A gust of wind blew in making me shiver. I stood on the edge of the window. Another gust blew making me giggle with excitement. I fell forward out of the window. I landed on my feet, feeling the dampness the rain left. I quickly made my way to the fountain and looked in. I saw my reflection and frowned. I took my finger and touched the water making ripples. The water became still and I looked closely. I saw myself and behind me I saw Chris. I smiled as I watched the water. I turned around quickly to see if he was really there. I found myself crying at the fact he wasn't there.

"Why did you die for me? There has to be a catch. You cant be dead." I spoke softly.

I turned and faced the fountain. My tears dropped into the water creating small ripples. The wind blew making my gown flow with it. I heard rustling and looked around. I felt something near, but what? I knew I was probably hallucinating. Something in the water caught my eye. I looked at the thing that lay before me in the water. I saw a flower crown with something tied to it. I picked it up and saw it was a ring.

"He asked me to give it to you. Even if the worst happened. I think he would have wanted it." I turned to see Gerard.

"What?"

"I never really liked him and he never liked me. He protected you at the expense of his soul and life. If I could bring him back I would." His face was hidden by the shadows ,but I knew he had a sorrowful expression upon his face.

"Thank you." I stated.

"I am forever bound to you. Nor you or I can escape." He left.

'Nor you or I can escape...' Played in my mind. It was on repeat. I looked at the crown and ring. I looked at the stone. It was a beautiful deep blue that looked as if there were crystal blue waters on the inside. I traced the ring and noticed there were words engraved on the inside.

"Cecilia, I will always love you. No matter what. -Chris" I smiled as the words rolled off of my tongue.

I slipped it on and smiled at the sight of it on my left ring finger.

I rummaged through the drawers of the desk.

"I know its in here somewhere."

I searched hopelessly for the little blue box. I knew I had it somewhere.

"What it was in one of my coat pockets." I held my finger up.

I walked into the closet and stuck my hands in the pockets. I felt a velvety surface. I pulled out a little box. I opened it and I remembered when my mom gave it to me.

_Flash Back_

"Cecilia, You will give this to Chris when you exchange rings." My mom handed me a blue velvet box. I opened it and saw tiny, beautiful blue stones placed around the front.

"What is this?" I asked.

"It's the ring you will give to Chris when he gives you one. It represents a lifetime together and love." She smiled and left. I took the ring out of the box. I held it up to the light.

_Present_

I opened it and held it close. I looked at it closely.

"I remember getting it engraved for you." I saw Gerard in the doorway.

"You got it engraved?" I asked.

"Yes, I knew you would want Chris to have it." He smiled then kept walking.

I smiled and looked at the text on the inside of the ring.

"Chris, We will always be together. I love you. -Cecilia" I read it out loud.

It was a true statement. I loved him and lost him once. I found him again ,but reality took him from me. I knew it was a cruel joke life wanted to play on me.

"Wake up ,Mistress." I opened my eyes and saw Gerard holding up black dresses. "You need to get ready." I looked at the rings I held in my hand. I put them on the desk.

"I want to wear that one." I pointed.

"This one?" He gave a face of disapproval.

"Yes I like the little coat that it has." It was a black dress that went to my knees. It had a little coat that came with it. The long sleeves were white but the little blue bows on it were cute. I wanted to wear a deep blue eye patch.

"As you wish." He stated. He got me ready. I wore knee-high black boots. They had little blue bows on them. I was ready. I grabbed two flowers from the flower crown and I grabbed the rings and put them in my pocket.

We walked to the front door. I saw Ciel at the door. Sebastian stood next to him.

"We would like to come." Ciel stated. I only nodded.

We rode to the church were it was.

"I am so sorry for your loss." Ciel said as he helped me out of the carriage.

"Thank you." I said.

I pulled out a pouch of money and handed it to The Undertaker.

"Thank you miss." He said.

"Thank you for your troubles." I smiled and walked into the church.

I walked slowly to the coffin. He wore black and his suit had blue accents. I smiled.

"Chris, I know you can't hear me. I love you. You saved my life. I am forever in your debt. I hope to pay you back soon." I said quietly. I took out the rings. I had a flower from the flower crown. I placed the flower where his heart would be. I took his left ring finger and place his ring on it. I put on my ring. "I love you." I turned to see Sebastian, Gerard, and Ciel staring. "I will be back later." I said as I walked past. I knew we were close to The Undertaker's shop, so I went to find it.

I found it quickly and I opened the door.

"Oh. Hi Miss." He waved.

"I need you to tell me something." I smiled.

"Yes?" He stared.

"Do you have a boy's coat?" I asked.

"Yes. It's in the back. It was your friends." He pointed to the curtain. I knew he thought I was talking about Chris's coat ,but I was talking about my old coat. I opened the curtain and closed it behind me. I saw that he moved the coffin I slept in to the back. I opened it to see nothing. I spotted the coat and picked it up. I grabbed it and got what I needed out of the pocket.

I slowly climbed into the coffin. I felt comfortable. I reached into my pocket and grabbed another flower. I place it over my heart. I took the dagger that William gave me. I knew that a reapers weapon would come in handy. I held my hand up not shaking. I stabbed next to the flower. I felt tears run down my face. I wasn't crying because it was painful. I was crying because I knew that I could leave my past, my pain, and my heart-break behind.


End file.
